What Is Easier: Carrying Toddler in Arms or Using a Stroller?

I've been to the doctor twice in the last week (don't ask). The first time I took my son into the office in his stroller and kept him there for the entire appointment - which didn't last all that long. The second appointment I just carried him into the office with his diaper bag slung over my shoulder.

Guess which was easier?

The second appointment was much easier. Carrying him was easier than strapping him into his stroller and rolling him around. During the appointment I let him walk around and explore a little. He was also content to sit on my lap. The doctor had a few toddler toys, so he had something to keep him occupied.

When I had him in the stroller he fussed and got fidgety. I had to keep feeding him Cheerios so he wouldn't throw a temper tantrum. Looking back, I should have taken him out of his stroller to give him a little more freedom.

He's now at the age where he can't sit still for long periods of time. He's a walking toddler now, he needs to move.

The only downside to carrying him is that he's getting heavy. I once carried him in and out of the Home Depot to buy one item and my arm was falling off by the time I got to the car. I was too lazy to grab a shopping cart.

Like everything else when taking care of a toddler, it's a lot of trial and error. Sometimes the the best answer isn't the one we think of first. Sometimes the right thing seems downright counterintuitive.

Do You Hear Ghost Baby Cries in the Night?

If you do hear baby ghost cries at night, you need serious help.

Ok, maybe you don't need that much help. But hearing baby cries that aren't really there is something my wife and I have experienced many times over the last year. And it wasn't something I ever expected. When I first started hearing ghost cries, I didn't know whether to call my psychiatrist or a paranormal expert.

It usually happens at night, or when he's napping. I'll be watching television, reading in bed or trying to sleep and I'll hear what I think is him crying. Then when I check the baby monitor, he's sound asleep, not even moving.




Oddly, the difference between the phantom cries and real cries is very noticeable. You'd think I would've learned to tell the difference by now. I haven't.

I think a large part of it stems from my overall paranoia about him not sleeping. When I hear him make real noises, like coughing, when he's in his crib, my stomach sinks and my anxiety level skyrockets.

I know when I'm really hearing phantom crying when I have my earplugs in and I can still hear "Waaa, waaa."

As he gets older it'll probably go away. Though I never thought in a million years that phantom baby cries were even possible. Other parents have told me they've had the same experience, but not many people talk about it. They probably don't want others to think they're crazy.

I'll chalk this one up to experience.

Note About Using My Son's Real Name On This Blog

Hi All:

After talking it over with my wife, I'm no longer going to refer to my son by his real name. This is out of concern of his privacy, especially when he's older. Does he really want people to Google his name and read about me changing his poopy diapers? Probably not.

Also, I think it's a safety thing as well. There are a lot of creeps out there. I don't want them reading all of this personal stuff about him knowing his full name. That's just asking for trouble.

So instead of referring to him with his real name, I will refer to him as DS, short for "Dear Son." Makes sense because he is my dear son and I love him like nothing else.

- Brad

Being A Dad In A Sea Of Moms

I probably don't even have to say this because it's so obvious, but it's still worth discussing. If you plan to be a stay-at-home dad, then be prepared to live in a sea of moms. By no means am I saying this is a bad thing. Far from it.

Just realize that when you go to story time at the library or to the park, you'll probably find yourself a lone wolf. And I'll admit, it took me some getting used to. I was very self-conscious at first and felt like I was always being stared at.

Now I don't even think twice about it.

The other thing I've learned over the last year is that a majority of all these moms you'll run into will smile at you and your baby. Some will even strike up a conversation. Take advantage of those moments to seek advice, give advice, trade tips or just shoot the breeze with a fellow parent. You'll come to relish these encounters because it's a conversation with an adult that doesn't involve baby talk.

You will get used to being out there, running errands during the middle of a weekday with your baby in tow. It's going to be awkward at first, but it gets better.

How To Be More Than Just A Dad

Part of our self-identity, for men and women, is our careers. People identify themselves with what they do to put food on the table. Even being a stay-at-home dad is a career. It's the hardest, most rewarding job anyone can ever have.

However, changing poopy diapers and bottle feedings every two hours can only take us so far when it comes to our self-identity. As noble and rewarding as parenting is, I think we need to have something else, something that identifies us separately and outside of being a dad.

I'll use myself as an example. My own identity goes beyond taking care of DS. I also maintain two blogs, write fiction and I'm also starting to dabble in drawing and art. And I swim...a lot. These are things that I love doing and even make some money at (except swimming, that costs me money).

Why do you need to be more than just a dad? There are a few reasons that I list below. They are in no particular order:

1. Keep your sanity. As I said before, you need to have something more than poopy diapers and bottle feedings. I say that with a bit of sarcasm because everyone knows being a parent is about a lot more than just diapers - especially when your baby becomes a teenager.

2. Provides an outlet for your many talents. Everyone has something to offer. Whether it's building things, fixing cars, writing, selling knives door-to-door, you can be a dad and do something else. Think of it as moonlighting.

3. Gives you goals to set for yourself. Goals are important. They keep us motivated and moving forward. You can set both short term and long term goals. For example, on of my short term goals include getting blog posts written in a timely manner. A long term goal would to be making a living from writing in X number of years.

There are probably dozens of reasons to have something outside of parenting. I've only scratched the surface. But it is important. A lot of new parents spend so much time taking care of their baby, they don't take care of themselves.

Keep this in mind when you're rocking your little one to sleep. Find something that can be more than a hobby and that you can grow into as your baby grows. It will make life all the more rewarding.