Don't Call Me Mr. Mom

If there's one thing I hate, it's being called Mr. Mom. I'm not a mom who happens to be a guy. I'm a dad. I'm a full-time dad. A stay-at-home dad. Or just "dad." Anything but a Mr. Mom.

The other reason I don't like the name Mr. Mom is because it reinforces the stereotype that it's the mom's job to stay at home to raise the kids, and anything different is somehow weird (for lack of a better term). I also see the name as an insult, pointing to the fact that only a mom can take care of the kids. Dads are perfectly capable of raising kids full-time.

When people ask me what I do, which is often, I just say I'm a full-time dad. People are surprised, and usually impressed. I hear a lot of stuff like "Good for you" or "That's great."

My biggest worry in telling people I'm a stay-at-home dad is that people will see me as lazy. No one has ever said anything to suggest that, but it's always in the back of my mind. Yet, anyone who has taken care of a child, especially a baby/toddler, knows it involves work - hard work. Babies need constant attention and have needs that must be attended to. There's no procrastinating when it comes to childcare.

When my son was still very much a baby, he got the famed five 'o clock grizzlies. Susan and I literally had to eat dinner in shifts so one of us could hold him to prevent him from having a full-blown crying fit. Even eating takes a backseat to caring for a baby.

Staying at home with him while Susan goes to work (where she works very hard to support us) is demanding. I'm still putting off my basic needs like eating, and even going to the bathroom to ensure his needs are met. I must add though, now that he's almost a year old, he is more independent, so I have a little more freedom to get stuff done (the operative word there is "little").

My point is that being a full-time dad is nothing to sneeze at. It's just as demanding as a regular 9-5 job. I'm just as tired at the end of the day. So let's not use a term like "Mr. Mom" that minimizes a dad's work and takes away from the demands of raising a child.

How should you respond when someone calls you Mr. Mom. A roundhouse kick to the face should be sufficient. Nothing says, "Don't call me that" like a steel-toed boot knocking a few teeth loose (you do wear steel-toed boots, right?). If you're a sissy and prefer to go the polite route, just say you prefer to be called a dad.