Breaking Parenthood Down To The Good & Bad (but mostly good)

My wife sent me a link to a blog post entitled "On Parenthood." It's written by a software coder who has a two and half year old son. And his wife is now pregnant with twins.

He summed up being a parent with a simple pie chart, showing 51% is the "most sublime joy you ever felt" and 49% is an "incredible pain in the ass." This might seem like a harsh outlook on being a parent. But he redeems himself by saying:

That one percent makes all the difference.

Personally, I'd skew the numbers more in favor of the sublime. Yes, my little DS can be a pain at times, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

The post then makes a great point that having a child helps us relive our own childhoods. It goes further to say that we relive those first 4 years of life (can any of you really remember anything before the age of 4?):

It's also a history lesson. The first four years of your life. Do you remember them? What's your earliest memory? It is fascinating watching your child claw their way up the developmental ladder from baby to toddler to child. All this stuff we take for granted, but your baby will painstakingly work their way through trial and error: eating, moving, walking, talking. Arms and legs, how the hell do they work? Turns out, we human beings are kind of amazing animals. There's no better way to understand just how amazing humans are than the front row seat a child gives you to observe it all unfold from scratch each and every day, from literal square zero.

I'm at this stage with my son. He's walking now, so he's exploring the world around him. Sometimes he trips and falls flat on his face, but he always gets up and keeps going (after I kiss his forehead). He's interested in everything, even little threads sticking out from clothes.

He even gets into trouble by getting into stuff he's not supposed to, or by throwing his snacks on the floor. Those are the real tests. Most can handle a baby/toddler/child when they're being good. What about when they're bad? That's where the real parenting comes in. And that's when I want to pull my hair out on some days.

In the end though, it's totally worth it.

Alone With My Son This Week

The wife is going on a business trip this week, leaving little DS and I to fend for ourselves. Does this mean we'll both be walking around in our underwear watching television all week? Probably not.

I tried to plan a lot of stuff to do, like going to our play group, going to Monkey Bizness, hitting the gym and so forth. I'd go insane staying in the house all day, every day. And since I won't be able to go swimming at night, I need to get out of the house.

The last time DS and I were left alone was back in December 2010, when he was only 3 months old. Back then I couldn't really play with him, I could only entertain him. He was too young to do much with me. Luckily while my wife was gone, my brother came into town and spent a night, making my first nights alone with DS much more tolerable.

But now he is older. He's on a much more consistent schedule. I can play with him and not just sit on the floor jingling toys above his head. Also, he goes down for naps and to bed a lot easier now (knock on wood).

My only big worry is that I won't get that little break at 5pm like I usually do when my wife gets home. She will usually give him dinner and play with home for a while, letting me relax. She also gives him his baths and puts him down at night. I won't have any of those luxuries this week. By the end of the day I'm going to be just pooped - for lack of a better term.

Trial by fire, I guess. Keep your fingers crossed.

Guess What New Parents Regret?

I just came across this article that says 8% of parents regret the names they picked for their child. I'm actually kind of surprised by this, as couples have 9 months to pick a name before the baby is actually born. It's not like the decision is sprung on you at the last minute.

But there's more to it than that. Outside factors (i.e. grandparents-to-be) and vanity can play a role in naming the baby:

Pamela Redmond Satran and Linda Rosenkrantz, founders of Nameberry.com, say the most common mistakes parents make when it comes to naming their babies include letting their own parents have too much say in the decision or focusing on superficial factors, like how “cool” the name choice makes them look.

The above is a big reason why Susan and I kept a tight lid on the possible names for our son (for safety & privacy I don't mention his name on this blog). We kept quiet because everyone has their own opinions about names. They know this person with that name who was a jerk. They think this name is pretentious. You get the idea.

As for the superficial idea of "how cool a name choice makes them look," that's just nutty. We thought about names in terms of our son having to live with it for the rest of his life, assuming he doesn't change it. So we picked a name that sounded good (went well with my last name), and a name that won't give him problems down the road. We were probably a little conservative with our name choice, but I still love it.

I think every parent goes through "naming anxiety." It is a big deal. It's your child's identity. The best advice I can give to expecting parents is to make a long list of names you like and start whittling it down.

Note: I changed the title from Guess What Parents Regret to Guess What New Parents Regret. 8% isn't exactly a huge majority. Nevertheless it is still interesting.

My Son Is Officially A Toddler!

My son has officially crossed the line from baby to toddler. Okay, there really is no definite line marking the transition into toddler-dom . But DS (dear son) is now walking more than he's crawling, I think that qualifies.

Only about a month ago he was crawling around like a madman. He'd stand up using the couch or ottoman for support and "cruises" around them while hanging on. Now he's walking with no support. He still has some work to do on his balance, but I'm guessing within another month he'll be even better.

The nice part about him walking is that he can walk around the house with us. We no longer need to carry him into his room to change his diaper. He is much more independent.

The bad part about him walking is that he is much more independent. He wants to explore. If there's a room he wants to go in, and he can't, he'll fuss and cry. And because he's standing up, his reach is a lot taller. We're having to put our valuables and electronics on higher shelves.

He's still working on the talking part. He says "dada dada" pretty well. I think he's referring to me when he says it although it can be hard to tell sometimes. Whenever he sees our cat he makes a "tsss" sound. Not even close to the word "Kitty" but we'll take what we can get.

More adventures in parenting!

What Is Easier: Carrying Toddler in Arms or Using a Stroller?

I've been to the doctor twice in the last week (don't ask). The first time I took my son into the office in his stroller and kept him there for the entire appointment - which didn't last all that long. The second appointment I just carried him into the office with his diaper bag slung over my shoulder.

Guess which was easier?

The second appointment was much easier. Carrying him was easier than strapping him into his stroller and rolling him around. During the appointment I let him walk around and explore a little. He was also content to sit on my lap. The doctor had a few toddler toys, so he had something to keep him occupied.

When I had him in the stroller he fussed and got fidgety. I had to keep feeding him Cheerios so he wouldn't throw a temper tantrum. Looking back, I should have taken him out of his stroller to give him a little more freedom.

He's now at the age where he can't sit still for long periods of time. He's a walking toddler now, he needs to move.

The only downside to carrying him is that he's getting heavy. I once carried him in and out of the Home Depot to buy one item and my arm was falling off by the time I got to the car. I was too lazy to grab a shopping cart.

Like everything else when taking care of a toddler, it's a lot of trial and error. Sometimes the the best answer isn't the one we think of first. Sometimes the right thing seems downright counterintuitive.