Parents Are Giving Up Ebooks In Favor Of Print

This article is re-posted from my Brad's Reader blog.

Even the most hardcore ebook enthusiast (like myself) might be putting their Kindle down in favor of a print book. Why? Parents are finding that print books are still the best medium for reading to their little ones.

I fall into this category. My son is a young toddler and he's still at the age where he likes to explore things by putting them in his mouth. That's what toddlers seem to do, put stuff in their mouths. They also throw, bang, drool on and have numerous other destructive methods in their arsenal. This means toddlers and eReaders don't mix.

According to this NYT article, I'm not alone:

This is the case even with parents who themselves are die-hard downloaders of books onto Kindles, iPads, laptops and phones. They freely acknowledge their digital double standard, saying they want their children to be surrounded by print books, to experience turning physical pages as they learn about shapes, colors and animals.

Tactile exploration along with a lot of different colors are important learning tools for young kids. Ebooks just can't compete with print.

Adult books are making a quick transition to ebooks, but this is not the case with kids books:

As the adult book world turns digital at a faster rate than publishers expected, sales of e-books for titles aimed at children under 8 have barely budged. They represent less than 5 percent of total annual sales of children’s books, several publishers estimated, compared with more than 25 percent in some categories of adult books.

I guess I'll be waiting a few years before I can buy my son his first shiny new eReader. Until then, we'll stick with print.

Sexist Tide Ad Insults Stay-at-Home Dads

I've ranted against the title "Mr. Mom" for stay-at-home dads for a while. It's my pet peeve. But when I read in this article about a new Tide detergent tv ad, I was shocked to find they come up with a new name that is even more insulting.

There are two versions of the commercial, the long and short version. In the long version, the dad is referred to as a "dad-mom." Seriously?

The "father" actor alone is featured in the "long" version, and he calls himself, with some panache, "a dad-mom," touting his ability to fold his child's clothing with "complete accuracy." He adds, "And, with (this product), I can use the brute strength of Dad to mix with the nurturing abilities of my laundry detergent. ... Now, if you excuse me, I'm going to do pull-ups and crunches in the other room."

Names like "Mr. Mom" and especially "dad-mom" only reinforce that old stereotype that it's the mom who should be staying at home tending to the kids. And anything different is abnormal.

I think the commercial is also insulting to moms, implying that only they can do the laundry.

Come on, Tide! Stay-at-home dads can be referred to simply as "dads." There's no need to insult us.

Monster Molars

My DS has his first molars coming in. He already has most if his front teeth, top and bottom. They came in easily enough. He didn't even seem to notice. Molars are a different story. They're huge, making them very painful.

For the past few days he has been "Mr. Crabby Cakes," as my wife and I affectionately call him. He cries more and gets fussier easier. In general, he doesn't seem to enjoy his usual playing.

Things have been slowly getting better. Today he is more like himself. The bad news is: He's getting a cold. As the old saying goes, "When it rains, it pours."

The times when your kid is crabby are the real tests for parents. Anyone can handle a kid that is happy, playful and well-behaved. It's those times when they deviate from their usual selves that puts a parent to the test.

I'll confess that the past few days has been a wake-up call for me. I've been very spoiled because DS is such a happy little toddler. The crabby days have been a real test of my patience and mettle.

It reminds me of his younger days when he cried for no reason. I spent those endless days sitting on the floor, trying to keep him entertained so he wouldn't cry. Back then I knew what to expect. I learned little tricks to keep from going insane.

At least with these monster molars coming in I know what the problem is and that it is only temporary. I pray they come in fast so we can get through this stage and on to the next one.

Never Be Ashamed About Being A Stay-At-Home Dad

I've never been shy about being a stay-at-home dad. When someone asks me what I do for a living, I say I take care of my son. While I usually don't use the phrase "stay-at-home dad," I make it clear that this is my job.

But it seems that not everyone is quite as forthcoming about taking on a job that has been historically delegated to women. Some men find it emasculating to admit they stay at home to take care of their kid/s.

I found an article that goes into great detail about this. I'm not going to cover the entire article because it is lengthy. However, there are a few interesting details worth noting.

The first is that some men, and even their wives, will lie or cover up the fact that the man is tending to the kids while the wife works:

Others let their men pay for everything in public, including meals with friends, so they don’t feel emasculated.

To save their feelings, many wives tell the outside world their husbands are setting up consultancies, starting businesses, or playing the money markets — anything but calling them stay-at-home dads.

I understand that some would be self-conscious about this. After all, most men find their identity in their work (as do women). I think it's a lot different for a man because there are literally centuries of precedent of the man taking on the role of supporting his family.

Here are the two biggest reasons why I think people lie (or cover up) the husband being a stay-at-home dad:

1. For the reason I stated above: It goes against the traditional role of the man.

2. Men find their identities in their work. And their work signifies that they are financially supporting their families. As a full-time parent, this is all stripped away.

How does one get "over the hump" and fully embrace their stay-at-home dad job? It comes down to remembering that you are helping to support your family. After all, if you didn't take care of the kids, your wife wouldn't be able to work.

Finally, remember that raising kids full-time is much more than a job. And the satisfaction of raising a healthy young son/daughter yourself is worth more than any paycheck.

One Year As A Stay-At-Home Dad

One year ago yesterday my wife went back to work, meaning I've now been a stay-at-home dad for a year. It has been a year full of ups and downs. I've watched DS go from infant to toddler.

It's amazing how much he's grown and developed. Because I've been with him every day for the past year, I didn't notice the changes until I see pictures from a month before.

He's not only grown, but he's also developed. At first, he couldn't even lift his head up. Now he's running around the house like a drunken madman (he still needs to work on his balance).

I remember when DS was first born I thought he'd never get older. That first week after we brought him home from the hospital dragged by with agonizing slowness. Every Saturday (he was born on a Saturday) brought new celebration as he was a week older. I counted the weeks carefully. Now I only count the months.

For dads just starting out as a stay-at-home dad, I say hang in there. It gets better, but I don't think it ever gets easy. One year seems like a long time, however, when you look back, it feels like it went by at lightening speed.

Time Management For Stay-At-Home Dads

When I sat down to write a post about playing and interacting with your toddler, I was unsure about where this post would go. On one hand I could write about the myriad of ways to play with your toddler, giving examples of games, toys and so forth.

On the other hand, I could go in a different direction. I decided to take the latter approach because I think the play/toy subject has been well-covered on other blogs and websites.

So I want to cover balancing the level of time you spend playing with your toddler with that of taking care of your own needs. Face it, even when it's just you and your son/daughter at home, there are still things you need to do for yourself. Some of those things you just have to do, like going to the bathroom. Others are in more of a gray area, like taking time for yourself to do something you enjoy.

If you look at it realistically, you cannot play with your toddler every minute of the day. He/she will probably need to take a nap. You will need to take a sanity break every now and then. There's also the more practical needs of getting stuff done around the house.

It's a fine balancing act to ensure you play enough with your toddler to satisfy his/her need for direct interaction and stimulation, with you getting other stuff done as well. I walk that line every day with my little DS (dear son).

I try to divide my time into chunks. I'll set aside a chunk of time for just playing with him. After that I might let him play alone for a little while I check email, go the bathroom, clean up the mess from breakfast and so forth. Then we might go somewhere, like to the store or our play group. Depending on when we get home, there might be another chunk of playtime or we'll eat lunch. Then he plays a little before going down for a nap, which is an opportunity for me to get more stuff done, like writing this blog post.

Mealtimes are great for you to do stuff because your toddler will be safely in his/her chair, rather than running around the house. I make sure my DS gets his main meal first, along with plenty of water. Then it's snack time. I use snack time as a chance to relax a little. I might read some news on the web, work on a blog post, clean up the kitchen or any other activity I can do that doesn't lead me too far away from him.

I don't think there is one correct answer for how to balance your time between playing and your "you-time." Some kids are more needy than others. I'm lucky that DS is very independent. So it's hard to judge my schedule with him against another parent who has a child that needs more attention.

I think the best way to manage your time is to get into a routine with your toddler. This brings some stability to the otherwise hectic life of a parent. It can also be comforting to know what to expect each day.