Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Dads: Stay In Shape, Prison-Style

Prisoners are notorious for being ingenious. They can make a shank out of just about anything. They can make gourmet meals from a few snacks bought at the prison store.

Most of all, though, they can chisel a perfect body without a gym.

If someone goes into prison stick thin, they'll emerge a decade later with massive arms, a perfect 6-pack, and gang tattoos covering their entire bodies (I'll discuss being a stay-at-home dad and gang tattoos in a later post).

One thing I've learned in the year and a half of being a stay-at-home dad is that you can stay in pretty good shape without an expensive gym membership.

I should add that yes, I do have a gym membership because I do a lot of swimming. However, if you want rock-hard abs, bulging biceps and pecs that can crush an apple, then you have everything you need right at home.

Basic Exercise

These are things you can do anytime, anywhere. They include push-ups, sit-ups, crunches, leg lifts and so forth. There's no reason not to do these basic exercises.

For me, push-ups can be challenging. My son likes to jump on my back while I'm doing them. This is bad because it's almost 30 lbs of extra weight I'm pushing. This is good because it's almost 30 lbs of extra weight I'm pushing that will turn my ams into iron machines.

There's one more exercise that I should add to this list - baby lifts. That's basically something you do every time you pick up your little one. As they get older and gain more weight, you'll get stronger.

Sometimes I take it one more step and hold my DS under his arms and lift him up a few times to work the biceps. I don't do this often, mostly because he's too wiggly to hold on to while I use him as a weight machine. Though he does find it funny.

Homemade Weights

This is where you can get really creative. There are basic household items all around you that can turn your spindly, weak body into that of a world-class body builder.

For example, use different sizes of canned goods to work your biceps, triceps and more. Run up and down your stairs (if you have any) to burn that belly fat away. Different baby toys also make good weights. Run around your backyard holding a baby pool full of water, without spilling a drop. That'll shape you up really fast!

But if you have money to burn, you can go to your local sporting goods store and buy some real weights.

Get Out of Your House

I going to assume you do leave your house several times a week. If you do, it's a perfect opportunity to get some exercise in. They make specialized strollers that are great for running. Invest in one and take a few laps around your block.

When my DS was only a few months old, I found myself going to the mall a lot. There were a lot of other parents (mostly moms) walking around the mall with their own babies. The mall should only be used in the winter, when walking outside is not an option.

As your child gets older and starts walking, then running, you'll be able to go outside and chase him/her around. I'm rediscovering the joys of playing outside now that my toddler goes out a few times a day. Mostly he runs all over the place, never really playing with one toy for very long. But I'll take what I can get.

Stretching

Stretching not only feels good (there's nothing like a good stretch after getting out of bed in the morning), but it limbers you up and can help prevent injuries when doing other exercises.

I'm not saying you need to become a yoga master and be able contort yourself into almost any size cardboard box (to ship yourself overseas, of course). But would it kill you to be able to touch your toes? How about kicking your foot in the air without bending your knees? If you're not limber enough to do those two stretches, how do you expect to do a roundhouse kick to someone's face when you really need to?

There's a lot of stuff about stretching I don't know, so I can't offer a lot of advice here. I do know, however, that it is good for you. That's pretty much all you need to know.

Hopefully this post will get your testosterone flowing enough to get you off the couch. It doesn't take a whole lot to stay in shape. And you don't need a gym to do it in. Get creative and have fun with it.

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