What Causes Most Temper Tantrums (And How I deal With Them)?

99% of my son's temper tantrums are caused by things he can't have, or things that we take away from him. Take yesterday for example: I had to go somewhere and I had my water bottle (he LOVES my water bottle) because it was pretty freakin' hot outside. When he realized I wouldn't give him my bottle he completely broke down into a full-blown classic temper tantrum, right in the driveway.

I left before he quieted down. My wife was with him. I've dealt with plenty of tantrums to know the best way to deal with them is to not give in. In other words, ignore it.

"Give me your iPad or someone is getting hurt!"

Toddlers are trying to get a reaction that will eventually lead to getting what they want. If we give in, then they'll learn that "Hey, this crying and screaming and rolling around on the ground thing gets me anything I want. Cool!".

Sometimes it takes a lot of guesswork on my part to figure out what he wants. Since he's not talking yet, he relies on vague hand signals. If he reaches up to the kitchen counter, and there's a million things on the counter, I could spend hours trying to figure out what he wants. I'll offer him his water bottle (the one thing I'll never take away). And if nothing works, I scoot him out of the kitchen and shut the children's gate.

Usually my strategy is to keep him out of the kitchen in the first place. There's too many dangerous things in there. He tries to turn the stove on. He opens drawers were knives are kept. He's a tall toddler so a lot of things are within his reach.

Slowly I'm learning what objects he wants and will cause him to break down if he doesn't get them. I keep those things out of sight. In parenting, prevention really is the best method.

How do you deal with your toddler's temper tantrums? And what causes the most tantrums?

Photo Credit: Mindaugas Danys Used under the Creative Commons license.