Does It Get Easier? Not Really.

The one question that I always tend to ask parents with kids slightly older than mine is: "Does it get easier?"The answers I get range from "yes" to "no" and everything in between. I've also been on the receiving end of that question.

My stock answer to other parents is that as your child gets older, it's just different.

But I was thinking about this yesterday when my son was being more of a pill than usual. I wanted to change my answer to the popular "does it get easier" question to "not really." I won't though, because it's too negative and isn't really an honest answer.

Let me explain. When you have a baby you have to deal with regular feedings, waking up several times during the night, crying, they need constant attention, etc. In other words, babies are a little more high maintenance than older children. Yes, you won't have to deal with those specific problems when your child gets older.

However, once he/she reaches toddler age, you have a whole new set of issues to deal with: Temper tantrums, potty training, child trying to push boundaries and exert their independence, etc. None of this is easy either.

It's ironic because when my son was a baby I kept saying I can't wait for him to be a toddler. Life will be so much easier. Now that he's a toddler, there are times when I wish he was a baby again.

So answering the question "does it get easier" with "it just gets different" is still accurate. However, I think it's kind of a round-about way of answering the question without really answering the question.

When a parent with a newborn asks me questions I always try to put a positive spin on things. When they talk about their baby's constant need to be held, I tell them it does get better. Same thing with late night feedings. I want to encourage parents as much as possible to give them hope. Those were the answers I took comfort in when my own DS was a baby.

If you were to ask me now if it gets easier, I'll answer by saying: "Each phase has it's own challenges, and I won't say any of them is easier than the last. But if you hate one phase (like the newborn), then you might love the toddler phase (for example)."

What do you tell parents who ask this question?