What Gives Me The Most Parenting Anxiety Every Day?

Even though my son is almost 3-years old, I still have extreme anxiety about him sleeping at night. Pretty understandable, if you consider I'm with him all day long and need my nights to unwind and relax.

But here's the kicker: He's a great sleeper. 99% of the time he falls asleep with no problems and sleeps through the night.

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My anxiety hangs around a little at bedtime. Once he's down and quiet, I can and do relax. But if he starts making noise, or even worse, starts crying, my anxiety shoots through the roof. I've talked to many parents about this and most have no real issues with their kids sleeping. If the child wakes up, then so be it. Deal with it. But I've never been able to have such a laid back attitude toward my son sleeping.

The one milestone that really increased my anxiety was when we converted his crib into a toddler bed. This means he can get out of bed whenever he wants. This terrifies me. But again, he doesn't do it. He stays in bed. I think I can remember only one time when he actually got out of bed because he couldn't sleep and wanted mommy. (It was so sad, he was calling "Mommy help! Mommy help!")

I'm not sure if my anxiety about his sleeping will ever go away. Maybe when he's older. I just remember when I was a kid I always had a hard time sleeping and I always woke my parents up. I feel really bad about that now. I guess it's payback time.

Any tips on reducing this sleeping anxiety?

What Happens When My Son Switches From A Crib To A Toddler Bed?

My son has finally switched from a crib to a toddler bed. Okay, to be completely honest, his crib turns into a toddler bed - we just removed one of the sides and replaced it with a safety rail. Now he's free to get in and out of bed whenever he wants.

We made this move a few months ago, but since I was MIA on this blog for the first part of the year, I didn't write about it. Until now.

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I didn't want him to sleep in a toddler bed. I wanted him in a crib. I was scared that once we converted his crib, he'd be up and down all night. My anxiety level shot up like a rocket the day we made the move.

I've always had a lot of anxiety about him sleeping, even though he's a very good sleeper and has been since he was a baby. That still doesn't stop me from having a panic attack if he starts to make noise at night.

What happened once he wasn't in a crib anymore? Nothing. He slept just like he always did. The only real difference has been that he gets up a little earlier in the morning, usually before 8. But that's been about it. And after talking to many, many other parents about this milestone, I think my wife and I have gotten off pretty easy. We are very lucky.

My logic was that if he had the freedom to get in and out of bed whenever he wanted to, he'd be all over the place. I underestimated him though, since he does what most people do at night - sleep. Imagine that. 

I should note there was a time when he wasn't tired and got out of bed and began knocking on the door while crying. It took my wife another story or two to get him back into his crib where he finally fell asleep.

What has been your experience with your little ones making the transition from crib to bed?

Shallow Water Blackout: The Hidden Danger in Pools

Now that summer is here the weather is getting hotter and many parents are looking to help their kids cool off. That means flocking to swimming pools. Whether it's the pool in your own backyard, the neighbor's pool you use when they're not home, or the public pool, they are the best way to cool down on a hot day.

It goes without saying that you should always watch your child while swimming, especially if they're young. But even older kids need to be watched too, regardless of how well they can swim. This post will explain why.

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When most people think of drowning, they think of someone who either cannot swim or is too exhausted to swim and simply cannot keep his/her head above water. While this does happen, it's not the only cause of drowning.

A popular game kids like to play is seeing who can stay underwater the longest. It's a game I played many times as a kid and I'm sure many of you played it as well. Holding your breath underwater generally isn't very dangerous if you're in a safe environment with good supervision.

The problem is when kids start to hyperventilate so they can hold their breaths longer. The idea that hyperventilation increases your ability to hold your breath is a false (and deadly) one.

What Is Shallow Water Blackout?

I'm not a doctor, so I'll give you the very basics here. When you hyperventilate, you take several deep breaths in rapid order. This depletes the level of carbon dioxide in your blood (carbon dioxide is what you exhale).

Popular to contrary belief, it is not the lack of oxygen that tells your brain you need to breathe, it's a build-up of carbon dioxide in the blood. When the level begins rising, your brain says "Hey! Something is wrong here. We have too much carbon dioxide. We need to breathe!"

So, when you hyperventilate, you expel this carbon dioxide and now it's not building up in your blood like it should. That means your brain thinks everything is good to go, despite being deprived of oxygen. This is dangerous to someone underwater because he/she will have no urge to breathe, thinking they can stay under longer.

After being underwater long enough (the length of time is different for everyone), you finally lose consciousness from loss of oxygen. There are no warning signs. You simply pass out under water. This usually happens in shallow water (like a pool), and can affect even the strongest and most experienced swimmers.

Even Someone In The Pool Might Not Notice You

Unless someone notices you and can rescue you within a few minutes, you'll likely drown. And that's another problem. You need someone to be watching you constantly, who preferably knows first aid, in order to have a chance at survival. People have drowned in pools with people in the water with them simply because the others didn't notice the person was in trouble. Because, again, the victim doesn't exhibit the usual signs of drowning (thrashing in the water, calling for help, etc).

Does this mean you shouldn't let your kids go underwater at all? Of course not! To stay safe underwater, it's important to breathe normally (so the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in your blood can reach an equilibrium), take one deep breath, and then go under. And once you feel the urge to breathe, surface immediately. Do this will ensure your body reacts normally to holding your breath and will help to keep you safe.

The purpose of this post isn't to scare anyone away from pools this summer. It's just something to keep in mind when cooling off in the hot sun. Talk to your kids about this so they're aware of the danger. More importantly though, as a parent, you need to stay vigilant.

5 Ways To Make The Terrible Twos Easier

My son is in the thick of the terrible twos. He can be my sweet little boy one minute, and on the ground throwing the world's greatest tantrum in the middle of the grocery store the next. He can be stubborn. "No" is his new favorite word. Sometimes he'll want something, and when I go to give it to him, he'll insist on wanting something else.

I'm pulling my hair out!

But a lot of the horrors of the terrible twos can be mitigated with a few easy methods I've learned over the last six months.

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1. Keep your toddler busy. Boredom causes toddlers to act out because they want interaction and stimulation. When I let my son run around outside and play on our newly built playground (more about that in a future post), he's usually well behaved. He'll still get himself into trouble, but I can usually regain my sanity while he's outside.

2. Know your toddler's triggers. I know if my son sees a pack of gum laying around, he'll want it. If he doesn't get it, then I get to deal with a temper tantrum. My solution is to keep the gum hidden. The "out of sight, out of mind" rule applies perfectly for the terrible twos.

I know not all triggers will be some object laying around your child wants. Sometimes it's situational. My point remains the same, though. Once you know his/her triggers, you can take steps to minimize them.

3. Quiet time. He stopped napping shortly after the New Year. It was my worst nightmare come true. But now we have something called quiet time where we both sit on the couch with his favorite tv show on. Generally it lasts about an hour, sometimes more, depending on my mood.

These quiet times give him a chance to decompress a little and relax. It also gives me time to relax as well. Many parents I know have a "quiet time" policy with their child who won't nap.

4. Snacks. Believe it or not having access to healthy snacks throughout the day can make a big difference in how he behaves. It's pretty simple: When he's not hungry, he's generally pretty happy.

Remember the times when you get hungry? You start to feel agitated. The blood sugar drop might make you feel a little sick. All this makes it real easy for you to get into a bad mood. Toddlers are no different.

I'm not suggesting you stuff their faces all day. Just make sure they can have some snacks between meals. I give my son everything from baby carrots, to grabes, cut up strawberries and maybe even some candy if he's been extra good. Variety is the key.

5. Sleep. I know you don't have complete control over this. Some toddlers aren't good sleepers. Sometimes you child gets sick or for one reason or another, doesn't get a good night sleep. There are tons of books out there on getting babies/toddlers to sleep more, so I'm not going to dive into that subject here.a

A tired toddler is a cranky toddler. Making sure he/she is getting enough rest is crucial to lessening the effects of the dreaded terrible twos.

The above suggestions are by no means the cure-all for the terrible twos and won't deflect all temper tantrums. But I've found they do help my son stay happy throughout the day. And when he's happy, I'm happy.

Back to Blogging After Brief Hiatus

I know I've been MIA the last several months, and I apologize. Things have been hectic and I didn't have a lot of time to devote to Brad the Dad.

But now I feel like things have smoothed out a little and I'm ready to once again impart my infinite parenting wisdom on the world.

So stay tuned because I'm coming back.

Thanks for reading!

Brad

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3 Ways To Cope With Bad Days As A Parent

We all have those days when we want to pull our hair out and set fire to it just to watch it burn. But we don't because we have kids around. And I'm also pretty sure the child protective services department in your county might have something to say about setting fires around your kids too.

Every parent goes through this. It's like a rite of passage. When your child is acting up and throwing temper tantrums and you can't even sit down without your child screaming. Yes, it happens to all of us. That's how we earn our parenting stripes.

So how do we deal with those days without resorting to arson? There has to be healthy coping tools, right? Yes, there are. I'm going to share a few I have found effective when it's "just one of those days."

1. Remember The Positives

I don't want to get all philosophical here, but a little dose might be good for you. When my son is acting out, throwing temper tantrums and behaving worse than usual, I have to put things in perspective. Usually all it takes is to look at my son, closely, and it reminds me what a cute little baby he was, and what a cute toddler he is.

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Remembering your child and how much you love him/her will bring you back down to earth. It's like pushing the reset button on your brain. It also reminds you of the bigger picture, that those moments of torment from your little one are only temporary. Nothing lasts forever.

This doesn't work in all situations. Sometimes you're so stressed out you want to lock your kid in a closet, curl up in the corner and shake. But you don't, because you know, the whole child protective services thing. And this brings me to my next tip...

2. Remove Yourself From The Situation

If you have a toddler that's not a total terror and can be left alone for a few minutes, then go somewhere else. This can be the bathroom, a bedroom, the basement, the room with your medieval sword collection. It doesn't matter. All that matters is you have a door to close so you can have a few minutes of quiet time.

A few minutes might not sound like a lot, but it can do wonders for you. When you're alone, take deep breaths, read a page or two of that book gathering dust on your nightstand. Do a few pushups (any kind of exercise is a great stress reliever). Splash cold water on your face. Almost anything will do, as long as you're removing yourself from the situation, and doing it safely.

My only disclaimer here is that every toddler is different. If you cannot leave your toddler alone safely for a few minutes, then don't do it. I'm lucky enough where this is an option for me.

3. Have Something To Look Forward To

This is a pretty broad one. When I say to have something to look forward to, I mean something the same day. For me, it can be going swimming at night. Sometimes it's just looking forward to when my DS goes to bed.

Aside from having something to be excited about, this also reinforces in your brain that nothing lasts forever. Things will get better. Your child will start behaving again. That hair you pulled out will grow back.

I know this is easier said than done. Trust me on that. Here's the thing, if you keep reminding yourself of this, it'll eventually work itself into your brain and you'll find yourself getting less stressed out when your little one is being a nightmare because you know that it'll end and you know there's something better on the horizon.

Hopefully one of these three tips can help you out. Raising kids full-time ain't easy. And if anyone ever says it is, give them a strong spin-kick to the face with your steal-toed boots.