The "Sharing vs. Not Taking" Toy Dilemma

One of the fun things about letting my DS play with other kids is watching how they interact. Toddlers don't really play with each other, they play next to each other.

There's something I've noticed with parents too. It's the "sharing vs. not taking" toys dilemma. It goes something like this:

My son is playing with a toy. Another toddler comes up wanting to play with the toy and starts to grab at it. I tell my son to share, while the parent of the other child says to not grab and wait his/her turn. It's a no-win situation for the kids.

Every parent wants their child to learn good manners and to play well with others. Yet you have these opposing forces - to learn to share, and to learn not to take things.

Usually these situations end in a toss-up. The kid with the toy relents (usually at the urging of their parent) and the other kid gets the toy.

I still find it awkward. How do you handle this dilemma? I'd love to hear your answers.

Playgroups Are A Lifesaver!

As my DS got older, I was a little reluctant to find and join a playgroup. 99.9% of them are made up of moms. There are a few dads groups out there, but they're very rare. I thought that being a dad in a moms-only group would make me uncomfortable and I wouldn't fit in.

Surprisingly I did find a dads group. When I started going, I immediately saw a big problem: My son was way too young for the group. So while the dads were on the playground playing with their kids, I sat on the bench holding my son while feeding him a bottle.

I gave up after about 3 meetings. I was getting nothing out of it. Then, as around the 8-9 month mark, I found a group through a referral. Yes, it's all moms, but they really made me feel comfortable. I always look forward to our meetings. It's a good chance for my son to interact with other kids his age (all our kids are around the same age). And I get to have adult conversation. In other words, this group is awesome.

I'm not the only dad who has benefited from playgroups. Others have found groups, mostly made up of moms, who have found them to be a great way to have fun and get out of the house. I saw this blog post about a dad who found his group. He makes a great observation:

Being the only man there sets me apart, there is no denying it. But the fact that we are all new parents navigating in unfamiliar waters renders that difference insignificant when compared to our commonalities.

Raising kids gives parents a much better bond with each other than being with all moms or all dads. If that makes sense.

If you can find a playgroup that you can join...go for it. Don't worry if it's made up of all moms. It really is insignificant. Just being a parent is enough to fit in.