Do You Hear Ghost Baby Cries in the Night?

If you do hear baby ghost cries at night, you need serious help.

Ok, maybe you don't need that much help. But hearing baby cries that aren't really there is something my wife and I have experienced many times over the last year. And it wasn't something I ever expected. When I first started hearing ghost cries, I didn't know whether to call my psychiatrist or a paranormal expert.

It usually happens at night, or when he's napping. I'll be watching television, reading in bed or trying to sleep and I'll hear what I think is him crying. Then when I check the baby monitor, he's sound asleep, not even moving.




Oddly, the difference between the phantom cries and real cries is very noticeable. You'd think I would've learned to tell the difference by now. I haven't.

I think a large part of it stems from my overall paranoia about him not sleeping. When I hear him make real noises, like coughing, when he's in his crib, my stomach sinks and my anxiety level skyrockets.

I know when I'm really hearing phantom crying when I have my earplugs in and I can still hear "Waaa, waaa."

As he gets older it'll probably go away. Though I never thought in a million years that phantom baby cries were even possible. Other parents have told me they've had the same experience, but not many people talk about it. They probably don't want others to think they're crazy.

I'll chalk this one up to experience.

Note About Using My Son's Real Name On This Blog

Hi All:

After talking it over with my wife, I'm no longer going to refer to my son by his real name. This is out of concern of his privacy, especially when he's older. Does he really want people to Google his name and read about me changing his poopy diapers? Probably not.

Also, I think it's a safety thing as well. There are a lot of creeps out there. I don't want them reading all of this personal stuff about him knowing his full name. That's just asking for trouble.

So instead of referring to him with his real name, I will refer to him as DS, short for "Dear Son." Makes sense because he is my dear son and I love him like nothing else.

- Brad

Being A Dad In A Sea Of Moms

I probably don't even have to say this because it's so obvious, but it's still worth discussing. If you plan to be a stay-at-home dad, then be prepared to live in a sea of moms. By no means am I saying this is a bad thing. Far from it.

Just realize that when you go to story time at the library or to the park, you'll probably find yourself a lone wolf. And I'll admit, it took me some getting used to. I was very self-conscious at first and felt like I was always being stared at.

Now I don't even think twice about it.

The other thing I've learned over the last year is that a majority of all these moms you'll run into will smile at you and your baby. Some will even strike up a conversation. Take advantage of those moments to seek advice, give advice, trade tips or just shoot the breeze with a fellow parent. You'll come to relish these encounters because it's a conversation with an adult that doesn't involve baby talk.

You will get used to being out there, running errands during the middle of a weekday with your baby in tow. It's going to be awkward at first, but it gets better.

How To Be More Than Just A Dad

Part of our self-identity, for men and women, is our careers. People identify themselves with what they do to put food on the table. Even being a stay-at-home dad is a career. It's the hardest, most rewarding job anyone can ever have.

However, changing poopy diapers and bottle feedings every two hours can only take us so far when it comes to our self-identity. As noble and rewarding as parenting is, I think we need to have something else, something that identifies us separately and outside of being a dad.

I'll use myself as an example. My own identity goes beyond taking care of DS. I also maintain two blogs, write fiction and I'm also starting to dabble in drawing and art. And I swim...a lot. These are things that I love doing and even make some money at (except swimming, that costs me money).

Why do you need to be more than just a dad? There are a few reasons that I list below. They are in no particular order:

1. Keep your sanity. As I said before, you need to have something more than poopy diapers and bottle feedings. I say that with a bit of sarcasm because everyone knows being a parent is about a lot more than just diapers - especially when your baby becomes a teenager.

2. Provides an outlet for your many talents. Everyone has something to offer. Whether it's building things, fixing cars, writing, selling knives door-to-door, you can be a dad and do something else. Think of it as moonlighting.

3. Gives you goals to set for yourself. Goals are important. They keep us motivated and moving forward. You can set both short term and long term goals. For example, on of my short term goals include getting blog posts written in a timely manner. A long term goal would to be making a living from writing in X number of years.

There are probably dozens of reasons to have something outside of parenting. I've only scratched the surface. But it is important. A lot of new parents spend so much time taking care of their baby, they don't take care of themselves.

Keep this in mind when you're rocking your little one to sleep. Find something that can be more than a hobby and that you can grow into as your baby grows. It will make life all the more rewarding.

When Snack Time Turns Into Game Time

DS has a new game. But it's not one that's meant to be a game. At meal/snack time, he finds it hilarious to drop his snacks on the floor. He smiles and laughs as he does this. A stern "No" only makes him laugh harder.

I'll admit that it is cute. Only a baby can find so much humor and joy in something like dropping a strawberry puff, or a slice of cucumber, or a sliced up grape, or whatever his snack happens to be.

The problem is that the only real solution I've found is to end snack time. If he's eating an actual meal, I'll let him finish, he just won't get any snacks. If he starts dropping things on the ground during the middle of snack time, I warn him once, then he won't get his snacks back and then I just end snack time altogether.

I still have the same problem though. He thinks all this is a funny game. I'm not a disciplinarian by any means, so a stern "No" is about all I can say. Even taking his snacks away is hard for me. At the same time, I don't want to reinforce his bad behavior.

I don't think he's made the connection between his dropping food on the floor and his food being taken away - he is only 1-year old. I'm sure his young age has something to do with it. As he gets older he'll make those connections.

That said, if any of you parents out there has a good solution to this problem, I'm all ears.