What Gives Me The Most Parenting Anxiety Every Day?

Even though my son is almost 3-years old, I still have extreme anxiety about him sleeping at night. Pretty understandable, if you consider I'm with him all day long and need my nights to unwind and relax.

But here's the kicker: He's a great sleeper. 99% of the time he falls asleep with no problems and sleeps through the night.

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My anxiety hangs around a little at bedtime. Once he's down and quiet, I can and do relax. But if he starts making noise, or even worse, starts crying, my anxiety shoots through the roof. I've talked to many parents about this and most have no real issues with their kids sleeping. If the child wakes up, then so be it. Deal with it. But I've never been able to have such a laid back attitude toward my son sleeping.

The one milestone that really increased my anxiety was when we converted his crib into a toddler bed. This means he can get out of bed whenever he wants. This terrifies me. But again, he doesn't do it. He stays in bed. I think I can remember only one time when he actually got out of bed because he couldn't sleep and wanted mommy. (It was so sad, he was calling "Mommy help! Mommy help!")

I'm not sure if my anxiety about his sleeping will ever go away. Maybe when he's older. I just remember when I was a kid I always had a hard time sleeping and I always woke my parents up. I feel really bad about that now. I guess it's payback time.

Any tips on reducing this sleeping anxiety?

What Happens When My Son Switches From A Crib To A Toddler Bed?

My son has finally switched from a crib to a toddler bed. Okay, to be completely honest, his crib turns into a toddler bed - we just removed one of the sides and replaced it with a safety rail. Now he's free to get in and out of bed whenever he wants.

We made this move a few months ago, but since I was MIA on this blog for the first part of the year, I didn't write about it. Until now.

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I didn't want him to sleep in a toddler bed. I wanted him in a crib. I was scared that once we converted his crib, he'd be up and down all night. My anxiety level shot up like a rocket the day we made the move.

I've always had a lot of anxiety about him sleeping, even though he's a very good sleeper and has been since he was a baby. That still doesn't stop me from having a panic attack if he starts to make noise at night.

What happened once he wasn't in a crib anymore? Nothing. He slept just like he always did. The only real difference has been that he gets up a little earlier in the morning, usually before 8. But that's been about it. And after talking to many, many other parents about this milestone, I think my wife and I have gotten off pretty easy. We are very lucky.

My logic was that if he had the freedom to get in and out of bed whenever he wanted to, he'd be all over the place. I underestimated him though, since he does what most people do at night - sleep. Imagine that. 

I should note there was a time when he wasn't tired and got out of bed and began knocking on the door while crying. It took my wife another story or two to get him back into his crib where he finally fell asleep.

What has been your experience with your little ones making the transition from crib to bed?

Shallow Water Blackout: The Hidden Danger in Pools

Now that summer is here the weather is getting hotter and many parents are looking to help their kids cool off. That means flocking to swimming pools. Whether it's the pool in your own backyard, the neighbor's pool you use when they're not home, or the public pool, they are the best way to cool down on a hot day.

It goes without saying that you should always watch your child while swimming, especially if they're young. But even older kids need to be watched too, regardless of how well they can swim. This post will explain why.

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When most people think of drowning, they think of someone who either cannot swim or is too exhausted to swim and simply cannot keep his/her head above water. While this does happen, it's not the only cause of drowning.

A popular game kids like to play is seeing who can stay underwater the longest. It's a game I played many times as a kid and I'm sure many of you played it as well. Holding your breath underwater generally isn't very dangerous if you're in a safe environment with good supervision.

The problem is when kids start to hyperventilate so they can hold their breaths longer. The idea that hyperventilation increases your ability to hold your breath is a false (and deadly) one.

What Is Shallow Water Blackout?

I'm not a doctor, so I'll give you the very basics here. When you hyperventilate, you take several deep breaths in rapid order. This depletes the level of carbon dioxide in your blood (carbon dioxide is what you exhale).

Popular to contrary belief, it is not the lack of oxygen that tells your brain you need to breathe, it's a build-up of carbon dioxide in the blood. When the level begins rising, your brain says "Hey! Something is wrong here. We have too much carbon dioxide. We need to breathe!"

So, when you hyperventilate, you expel this carbon dioxide and now it's not building up in your blood like it should. That means your brain thinks everything is good to go, despite being deprived of oxygen. This is dangerous to someone underwater because he/she will have no urge to breathe, thinking they can stay under longer.

After being underwater long enough (the length of time is different for everyone), you finally lose consciousness from loss of oxygen. There are no warning signs. You simply pass out under water. This usually happens in shallow water (like a pool), and can affect even the strongest and most experienced swimmers.

Even Someone In The Pool Might Not Notice You

Unless someone notices you and can rescue you within a few minutes, you'll likely drown. And that's another problem. You need someone to be watching you constantly, who preferably knows first aid, in order to have a chance at survival. People have drowned in pools with people in the water with them simply because the others didn't notice the person was in trouble. Because, again, the victim doesn't exhibit the usual signs of drowning (thrashing in the water, calling for help, etc).

Does this mean you shouldn't let your kids go underwater at all? Of course not! To stay safe underwater, it's important to breathe normally (so the oxygen and carbon dioxide levels in your blood can reach an equilibrium), take one deep breath, and then go under. And once you feel the urge to breathe, surface immediately. Do this will ensure your body reacts normally to holding your breath and will help to keep you safe.

The purpose of this post isn't to scare anyone away from pools this summer. It's just something to keep in mind when cooling off in the hot sun. Talk to your kids about this so they're aware of the danger. More importantly though, as a parent, you need to stay vigilant.

5 Ways To Beat Cabin Fever With Your Toddler

It's that time of year again. Unless you're lucky enough to live in a warm climate, cold weather is here. This means it's getting harder and harder to go play outside with your little ones. And what happens when we stay inside too long? Cabin fever sets in.

This begs the ultimate question: How do we keep ourselves and our kids active during the winter months? Obviously, I'm talking about kids that are toddler age. Older kids are in school, and babies generally don't play outside.

If you live in a crappy place like this, you probably deserve cabin fever.

I'm gonna give you some ideas. Though if you have your own ideas, please share them in the comments below.

Here's a few ways to beat cabin fever:

1. Find a local Monkey Bizness and/or Gymboree

Both places have great indoor activities and toys for little kids. The only downside is that both cost money, making it hard if you're on a budget.

I take my son to Gymboree once a week and we go to Monkey Bizness a few times a month. It costs us less than $10 to go. But it still adds up.

Of course, there might not be a Monkey Bizness or Gymboree close to you, in which case your screwed.

2. The Library

Most public libraries have a kids department. The library we go to not only has a kids department, but also has little activities for the kids (mostly things like puzzles, games, etc). Even if you don't have a library card, you can still go, and it's free!

Also, libraries usually have programs for kids, mostly story times. These usually require you to have a library card.

3. Embrace the Cold Winters

This means going out and enjoying the winter. If there's snow on the ground then go play in the snow. If it's not too cold, go to the park and run around. Cold weather doesn't seem to bother my son. In fact, he likes to take his jacket off after running around for a while.

4. The Mall

Take your little one to the mall to walk around. And if your son/daughter is being good, dust off your wallet and buy them a toy, or something from the food court.



When my DS was a baby I used to take him to the mall and walk around for an hour or so while pushing him in his stroller. It's not the most exciting thing in the world, but it gets you out of the house and is good exercise - which you probably need anyway.

5. Museums/Community Centers/Misc.

This is kind of a catch-all. If you live in a decent size metro area, chances are there will be places, like museums (especially ones for kids) you can go to. Beware though, if the only museum in your area is one for rare art or other expensive exhibits, you might want to keep your toddler away. Curators frown upon changing your kid's diaper next to multi-million dollar paintings.

Also check for any kind of community center. They always have activities for kids. Some will probably cost money, but if you're a lucky cheapskate, you might find stuff for free.

These are the best ideas I can come up with at the moment. Finding stuff to do during the winter is very much determined by where you live. If you're in a metro area or city, then you don't have much of an excuse. But if you live out in the country and you have to drive to your neighbors house because they live so far away, staying active might be a little more challenging.

Photo Credit: NatalieMaynor via Creative Commons

One Overlooked Cause Of Temper Tantrums

A lot of parenting is trial and error. I learn the most, not by reading books, but by figuring out what works and what doesn't with my little DS.

The one issue every parent of a toddler can identify with is temper tantrums. They're those awful few minutes where you child acts as if the world is coming to an end. Parents really earn their stripes by dealing with tantrums on a daily basis.

The Cause Of The Tantrum

Most of the time, this can be easy to figure out. With my own son, it's when he can't have something he wants or we take something away from him. He'll even throw tantrums when we're about to leave somewhere he wants to stay (like coming inside after playing outside).

Sometimes, however, there are tantrums with no identifiable cause. They just come out of nowhere. These are the toughest to deal with because they are the most frustrating for a parent.

I've figured out one reason for these tantrums-out-of-nowhere:

Boredom!

Toddlers are people too and they get bored, just like the rest of us. When we get bored we get fidgety and restless. We'll seek out something to end our boredom like watching television or surfing the internet (for example).

A toddler can't communicate what he or she wants very easily. So they get frustrated, which leads to a temper tantrum.

When my son is throwing a tantrum and there is no obvious reason why, I get on the floor and start playing with some of his toys. 9 times out 10 it's enough to stop his crying and he'll come over to play with me. He was just bored.

The next time your toddler is throwing a temper tantrum try playing with him or her. It's a simple, but very effective way of calming them down while keeping your own sanity.

The "Sharing vs. Not Taking" Toy Dilemma

One of the fun things about letting my DS play with other kids is watching how they interact. Toddlers don't really play with each other, they play next to each other.

There's something I've noticed with parents too. It's the "sharing vs. not taking" toys dilemma. It goes something like this:

My son is playing with a toy. Another toddler comes up wanting to play with the toy and starts to grab at it. I tell my son to share, while the parent of the other child says to not grab and wait his/her turn. It's a no-win situation for the kids.

Every parent wants their child to learn good manners and to play well with others. Yet you have these opposing forces - to learn to share, and to learn not to take things.

Usually these situations end in a toss-up. The kid with the toy relents (usually at the urging of their parent) and the other kid gets the toy.

I still find it awkward. How do you handle this dilemma? I'd love to hear your answers.

Breaking Parenthood Down To The Good & Bad (but mostly good)

My wife sent me a link to a blog post entitled "On Parenthood." It's written by a software coder who has a two and half year old son. And his wife is now pregnant with twins.

He summed up being a parent with a simple pie chart, showing 51% is the "most sublime joy you ever felt" and 49% is an "incredible pain in the ass." This might seem like a harsh outlook on being a parent. But he redeems himself by saying:

That one percent makes all the difference.

Personally, I'd skew the numbers more in favor of the sublime. Yes, my little DS can be a pain at times, but the positives far outweigh the negatives.

The post then makes a great point that having a child helps us relive our own childhoods. It goes further to say that we relive those first 4 years of life (can any of you really remember anything before the age of 4?):

It's also a history lesson. The first four years of your life. Do you remember them? What's your earliest memory? It is fascinating watching your child claw their way up the developmental ladder from baby to toddler to child. All this stuff we take for granted, but your baby will painstakingly work their way through trial and error: eating, moving, walking, talking. Arms and legs, how the hell do they work? Turns out, we human beings are kind of amazing animals. There's no better way to understand just how amazing humans are than the front row seat a child gives you to observe it all unfold from scratch each and every day, from literal square zero.

I'm at this stage with my son. He's walking now, so he's exploring the world around him. Sometimes he trips and falls flat on his face, but he always gets up and keeps going (after I kiss his forehead). He's interested in everything, even little threads sticking out from clothes.

He even gets into trouble by getting into stuff he's not supposed to, or by throwing his snacks on the floor. Those are the real tests. Most can handle a baby/toddler/child when they're being good. What about when they're bad? That's where the real parenting comes in. And that's when I want to pull my hair out on some days.

In the end though, it's totally worth it.