If you have been reading this blog for any length of time you know I don't mention my son's name, nor do I post his picture. When referring to him I usually write "my son" or "DS" (dear son).
Why do I do this? After all, I post a picture every now and then on Facebook, but only close friends and family can view those pictures. We even have an online photo album for our family to see him in all his glory and cuteness.
This blog is a little different though because I talk about him differently than on Facebook. The photo album we have of him is just that, a photo album.
Why am I so protective here? Because when he's older and is going to school, I don't want his friends/classmates to find all these embarrassing posts about him pooping, diaper rash and running naked through the house on this blog. That's a recipe for a good ass kicking.
In other words, I share more personal details here than on Facebook. If someone were to Google his name, the results wouldn't bring up this blog.
I don't post pictures here for the same reasons. Only with pictures, I always worry about some pervert or other sicko using them for their own nefarious purposes. I also don't want people using his picture without my permission (which I'd never give) for their own website or other online use. It might sound like a longshot, but I've read horror stories of parents who did see their child's picture being used online in a not-so-clean way.
Is that an irrational fear? Maybe. I'd rather be safe than sorry. I love him like crazy and don't want any to hurt him, and if they do, they'll have to answer to my steal-toed boots.
How do you protect your toddler's privacy online?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Friday, October 19, 2012
Don't Hold A Grudge Against Your Toddler
One of the hardest parts of parenting is when your child acts up and does something bad. It puts you on the spot to get your kid under control and can lead to a full blown temper tantrum.
When my son does something bad like pull on the curtains (he's pulled a few down!) or try to hit mommy or I during a tantrum, it's easy to lose our temper. While we both seem pretty good at keeping ourselves under control during these situations. The hardes part, though, is not holding a grudge.
In other words, I don't stay mad at him in the afternoon for something he did in the morning. It's not fair to him and it's just that much more stress for me. I'm not even sure if a 2-year old can remember why they were in trouble to begin with after several hours.
How long should we stay mad at our kids? It really depends on the situation and what the child did. In most cases, I don't think staying mad does any good for an extended period of time does any good (for the reasons cited above).
My rule is that if he stops, settles down, listens to me and starts being good, I'll forget about the incident and resume play or whatever. And I try to make a little lesson out of it by telling him that when he's good, we can have fun. It also helps to let him know that when he cooperates, it's much easier on both of us.
For example, he's gotten into the habit of throwing tantrums when I'm changing his diaper. He wiggles and tries to stand up. He cries. He does everything in his power not to get his diaper changed. To try to avoid this, I tell him that the sooner we change his diaper, the sooner we can go do (fill-in-the-blank). It's starting to work.
Not holding a grudge is hard to do, especially when it's been a stressful day or your tired or your child has really been acting up. I'll be the first to admit I've stayed mad at my son longer than I should have. It's easy to do.
If you feel yourself holding a grudge against your toddler, try to remember something cute they've done in the past, or back to when they were helpless little babies. Remembering stuff like that tends to put you child back into perspective, making it easier to be forgiving and move on.
When my son does something bad like pull on the curtains (he's pulled a few down!) or try to hit mommy or I during a tantrum, it's easy to lose our temper. While we both seem pretty good at keeping ourselves under control during these situations. The hardes part, though, is not holding a grudge.
In other words, I don't stay mad at him in the afternoon for something he did in the morning. It's not fair to him and it's just that much more stress for me. I'm not even sure if a 2-year old can remember why they were in trouble to begin with after several hours.
How long should we stay mad at our kids? It really depends on the situation and what the child did. In most cases, I don't think staying mad does any good for an extended period of time does any good (for the reasons cited above).
My rule is that if he stops, settles down, listens to me and starts being good, I'll forget about the incident and resume play or whatever. And I try to make a little lesson out of it by telling him that when he's good, we can have fun. It also helps to let him know that when he cooperates, it's much easier on both of us.
For example, he's gotten into the habit of throwing tantrums when I'm changing his diaper. He wiggles and tries to stand up. He cries. He does everything in his power not to get his diaper changed. To try to avoid this, I tell him that the sooner we change his diaper, the sooner we can go do (fill-in-the-blank). It's starting to work.
Not holding a grudge is hard to do, especially when it's been a stressful day or your tired or your child has really been acting up. I'll be the first to admit I've stayed mad at my son longer than I should have. It's easy to do.
If you feel yourself holding a grudge against your toddler, try to remember something cute they've done in the past, or back to when they were helpless little babies. Remembering stuff like that tends to put you child back into perspective, making it easier to be forgiving and move on.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
5 Lessons Learned While Flying With A Toddler
Having recently returned from a cross-country trip with my DS to see family, I think this is a good opportunity to share some realities of traveling on a plane with a toddler.
Before I begin I should add that it was just my son and I. My wife was busy with work. So I had the monumental task of flying with a toddler that can't sit still.
If you and your partner are flying with you child together, the trip will be a little easier. If you're on your own, however, you'll be in for the challenge of your life.
I had everything I needed: Diapers, wipes, plenty of snacks, toys and an iPad filled with games and a full season of his favorite show, Yo Gabba Gabba. Guess what? The iPad held his attention for probably 10 -15 minutes of the entire flight.
The snacks and other toys didn't do much good either. He spend a majority of the 3-hour flight moving around (including a few kicks to the seat in front of him), standing up on the seat, fussing because I kept trying to keep him in his seat.
Like I said: Prepare for the worst.
Other passengers want a smooth flight without the annoyance of a fussy toddler. I'm the same way when I travel alone. But I felt especially bad for those who were unlucky enough to sit in front of us. I say the gentleman sitting in front of my DS shake his head in despair several times throughout the flight. I should've bought him a drink.
Some passengers, especially older ones, will smile and comment about how cute your child is, but that's as far as it will go. No one will volunteer to help you keep your child occupied or sit with your child so you can sleep. It ain't going to happen.
Try to stay sane by reminding yourself you will probably never see these people again. Also, the experience will make you more sympathetic to parents in the same situation.
I was awake and running on full energy the entire flight. No naps. No time for reading. Nothing. If you're lucky your child might stay occupied with a game. And if you're really lucky your child might fall asleep. Cherish those rare moments and consider yourself lucky.
This is one area you can take comfort in. Chances are there will be other small children on your flight. And they might even be more fussy than your own child. The other parents with toddlers will more likely be more sympathetic. Heck, you might even strike up a conversation with them!
This didn't work for me, but I've talked to a lot of parents who say it has worked for them. The key is to bring newer toys that your toddler hasn't played with yet so he/she will be less likely to be bored with them. Bring a variety of toys. If you have a smart phone or tablet, load it with games.
Bring a lot of snacks. Don't count on getting any food on your flight. On my flight we got water and/or soft drinks. That was it. Not even a bag of peanuts. In fact, the flight attendants made us give them our food!
A nice selection of your child's favorite snacks will help when they get fussy. Don't forget to bring something to drink. Keep in mind that whatever drink your child likes, you will have to buy it at the airport after going through security. This means you will overpay for all food/drinks you buy. That $10 bottle of water I bought didn't even taste all that good.
There's no doubt that traveling with a toddler is a challenge. A lot of people say it's the hardest age to fly with your child because they have a hard time sitting still for so long. Remember that it won't last forever. The flight will end. And when you finally get off the plane you will be a better person for it. These things build character.
Finally, I should add that my son did great while on vacation. I couldn't have asked for a better son and I love him like crazy. And despite the challenge I dealt with on the 2 flights we were on, my love is unwavering.
Plus, I know that as he gets older flying with him will get easier. At least, I hope.
Before I begin I should add that it was just my son and I. My wife was busy with work. So I had the monumental task of flying with a toddler that can't sit still.
1. Flying with toddler is NOT easy - Prepare for the worst.
If you and your partner are flying with you child together, the trip will be a little easier. If you're on your own, however, you'll be in for the challenge of your life.
I had everything I needed: Diapers, wipes, plenty of snacks, toys and an iPad filled with games and a full season of his favorite show, Yo Gabba Gabba. Guess what? The iPad held his attention for probably 10 -15 minutes of the entire flight.
The snacks and other toys didn't do much good either. He spend a majority of the 3-hour flight moving around (including a few kicks to the seat in front of him), standing up on the seat, fussing because I kept trying to keep him in his seat.
Like I said: Prepare for the worst.
2. Don't expect sympathy/understanding from other passengers.
Other passengers want a smooth flight without the annoyance of a fussy toddler. I'm the same way when I travel alone. But I felt especially bad for those who were unlucky enough to sit in front of us. I say the gentleman sitting in front of my DS shake his head in despair several times throughout the flight. I should've bought him a drink.
Some passengers, especially older ones, will smile and comment about how cute your child is, but that's as far as it will go. No one will volunteer to help you keep your child occupied or sit with your child so you can sleep. It ain't going to happen.
Try to stay sane by reminding yourself you will probably never see these people again. Also, the experience will make you more sympathetic to parents in the same situation.
3. Don't expect to relax or sleep unless your toddler does.
I was awake and running on full energy the entire flight. No naps. No time for reading. Nothing. If you're lucky your child might stay occupied with a game. And if you're really lucky your child might fall asleep. Cherish those rare moments and consider yourself lucky.
4. You probably won't have the only child on the plane.
This is one area you can take comfort in. Chances are there will be other small children on your flight. And they might even be more fussy than your own child. The other parents with toddlers will more likely be more sympathetic. Heck, you might even strike up a conversation with them!
5. Carry plenty of snacks and a lot of extra toys.
This didn't work for me, but I've talked to a lot of parents who say it has worked for them. The key is to bring newer toys that your toddler hasn't played with yet so he/she will be less likely to be bored with them. Bring a variety of toys. If you have a smart phone or tablet, load it with games.
Bring a lot of snacks. Don't count on getting any food on your flight. On my flight we got water and/or soft drinks. That was it. Not even a bag of peanuts. In fact, the flight attendants made us give them our food!
A nice selection of your child's favorite snacks will help when they get fussy. Don't forget to bring something to drink. Keep in mind that whatever drink your child likes, you will have to buy it at the airport after going through security. This means you will overpay for all food/drinks you buy. That $10 bottle of water I bought didn't even taste all that good.
Final Thoughts
There's no doubt that traveling with a toddler is a challenge. A lot of people say it's the hardest age to fly with your child because they have a hard time sitting still for so long. Remember that it won't last forever. The flight will end. And when you finally get off the plane you will be a better person for it. These things build character.
Finally, I should add that my son did great while on vacation. I couldn't have asked for a better son and I love him like crazy. And despite the challenge I dealt with on the 2 flights we were on, my love is unwavering.
Plus, I know that as he gets older flying with him will get easier. At least, I hope.
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