Don't Hold A Grudge Against Your Toddler

One of the hardest parts of parenting is when your child acts up and does something bad. It puts you on the spot to get your kid under control and can lead to a full blown temper tantrum.

When my son does something bad like pull on the curtains (he's pulled a few down!) or try to hit mommy or I during a tantrum, it's easy to lose our temper. While we both seem pretty good at keeping ourselves under control during these situations. The hardes part, though, is not holding a grudge.

In other words, I don't stay mad at him in the afternoon for something he did in the morning. It's not fair to him and it's just that much more stress for me. I'm not even sure if a 2-year old can remember why they were in trouble to begin with after several hours.




How long should we stay mad at our kids? It really depends on the situation and what the child did. In most cases, I don't think staying mad does any good for an extended period of time does any good (for the reasons cited above).

My rule is that if he stops, settles down, listens to me and starts being good, I'll forget about the incident and resume play or whatever. And I try to make a little lesson out of it by telling him that when he's good, we can have fun. It also helps to let him know that when he cooperates, it's much easier on both of us.

For example, he's gotten into the habit of throwing tantrums when I'm changing his diaper. He wiggles and tries to stand up. He cries. He does everything in his power not to get his diaper changed. To try to avoid this, I tell him that the sooner we change his diaper, the sooner we can go do (fill-in-the-blank). It's starting to work.

Not holding a grudge is hard to do, especially when it's been a stressful day or your tired or your child has really been acting up. I'll be the first to admit I've stayed mad at my son longer than I should have. It's easy to do.

If you feel yourself holding a grudge against your toddler, try to remember something cute they've done in the past, or back to when they were helpless little babies. Remembering stuff like that tends to put you child back into perspective, making it easier to be forgiving and move on.